TheO may have noticed that daddy is going a bit, well, bonkers. This is something to do with my connections. The car has developed a fault in the wiring since it came back from the garage causing the stereo to cut out when it goes over a bump. This is Malta where driving is like tackling a severe set of moguls on a black run with no knees. Harsh. I found myself driving over a deep pot hole just to hear the last few bars of why does it always rain on me by Travis.

My day just gets better as I get home and have to call the garage on a cordless phone that has a loose battery connection. Just as I am trying to explain the problem, I realise that I have been talking to nobody for the last fifteen minutes. The joys of modernity.

I am however relieved to see that TheO has the right idea and makes lasting connections. He is now well know at the germ kindergarten for his good humour and loud laugh! I try to take this lesson on board. He is now just over ten months, standing on his own (whilst leaning on something) and scouring the floor at a furious pace for nibbles. The Grand-Parents spoil him rotten, but who can blame them!?



TheO finds the hidden camera, despite loosing part of his head...

After a quick jaunt back to Blighty to see an old chum hitched, we return yet again to brilliant sunshine and warm seas. TheO is back in his element despite having made some very good friends with my past at the wedding. We have taken him to his kindergarten, and he is now slowly recovering from the massive bout of Flu he caught there. I plan to send him next time in a disposable paper boiler suit and a facemask full of Vicks but fear he may stray to some 80's Rave sure to be close by.

One of the many missions whilst in the UK was to ship over a Gearbox for the car and other personal effects. Quite why we packed our entire photograph collection I will never know. The car parts have now been delivered and we look forward to a car that works with a recent fresh paint job!! (and new bonnet, wing, bumper, door etc etc) This is due to a slight oversight by a local driver. If you have ever driven in Malta, you will know what I'm talking about.

Despite his cold, TheO remains in high spirits. He has been checked over by his Pediatrician and we're told his figures are all up, up, up! He remains one of the happiest babies I know, attracting the attention of old ladies from 50 yards. I am trying to teach him to be more discerning when it comes to age, ahem.



TheO after his Vitamin C, & I thought is was an apple a day...

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's TheO, high on artificial additives and on a mission of mayhem. Leaving no stone unturned (or anything else for that matter) he strives to check out our entire dwelling. No clean window is safe from his moist touch 'but we only had them cleaned yesterday!!' I exclaimed.

The little lad is accelerating at an alarming rate. He engages you in games and still retains his charm and constant smile, just like his, er, Dad! Despite his agility, the one place he has managed to stay in is his kindergarten. He is always coming back with something new. The first time it was conjunctivitis, the second time it was flu, this was one which he was able to share with us, thanks. Needless to say they won't have him back till he's better. Mmm.

The outlaws have been visiting Cornwall and have been away for two, long weeks. They are greatly missed as the Mother in Law looks after TheO a lot. I cant wait for them to come back, particularly as I have been looking after their Yorkshire Terrier who seems to have a bottomless, weak bladder. We go for a walk that lasts 30 minutes and covers ten feet!!

Off to the homeland next week for ten days for a good chums wedding, four days solo. I feel as though I have won the lottery and plan to sleep solid for all of it, with beer and sausages thrown in of course!



TheO attempts to get back inside a cupboard, just to jump out at mummy later hur hur...

The last few weeks have seen many of the nice English tourists who visit St Paul's Bay depart with the closing summer season. These tattooed ambassadors of Blightly will be missed. No longer will I be able to point out to TheO the English football strip on a 20 stone bloke in Nike trainers drinking 15 pints of local lager before breakfast and claiming 'I'm on holiday' They are shortly to be replaced by the over the over 95 crowd in thermals escaping the cooling British temperatures (see previous postings)

The family capitalized on a very kind invitation to spend a few nights in a farmhouse in Gozo. A non stop stream of people joined us and fussed over TheO. He had an abundance of attention and maternal figures very happy to play, hold and feed the little chap. This was a excellent chance to catch a few ZZzzz's. Perfect. Many thanks to you two!!

Back on the mainland and I leave the little lad with his mum. Five minutes after leaving the good lady phones me 'I'm not quite sure what to do' she says. 'I was working on the computer and I turned round to check on 'him' and he was standing up!! I gasped; he realized my surprise and fell over. Fortunately he didn't hurt himself on his return to the floor, but looks like I'll be bubble wrapping the floor tiles too!!



The water cushion effect, we just have to get it into the flat!!

I was just sitting there minding my own business and, wow, now it's September, and midway too! 'The Family” as the good lady likes to call us, has had a hectic few weeks. We visited the homeland to have another party for TheO, show him off to my parents, and confirm name, rank and number. This was done on August 27th at Saint Marthas-on-the-Hill by the Rev Jeremy Whittaker. TheO's response to the surroundings was to blow raspberries and gurgle loudly. It was however a great excuse to pull together a few fantastic people and consume heaps of Pim's and gallons of Cava, all on a prefect sunny day!

It was good to get back to normality and the newly painted flat. However, day one the Air Con in the car goes, day two, the exaust on the car goes, day three we're back to the thunderstorms and flash floods. I have returned with renewed patience and wonder how long it will last!!



TheO ask's, 'was that you?”

The title here is supposed to reflect my Monday, Today. Monday mornings are, as well as being a notoriously bad start to the week, the day I look after TheO, exclusively! This is a day when 'mummy' is unavailable, I have to fend for myself and pretend I'm in charge. This occurs every Monday from 9am till 2pm. Here's a run down.

9am The household awakes. It's another glorious day. I can't however go outside into the sun as I have major sunburn from a boat-trip where, as usual, I refused to wear a shirt or sun tan lotion. I now don't run, I scuttle! First thing to get done is a scuttle to the Bank. 10 minute job, I grab TheO and little else.

10am Arrive bank to encounter long queue. Wait with TheO straining. I sniff and and the straining becomes clear. I have no nappy, no wet one no change of clothes and no chance! I ask and am directed to the loo where the men's is engaged, the ladies vacant. I do the necessary and in the process, a bank porcelain fixture disintegrates with my elbow, Theo bawls and I look nervous. I remain calm and escape.

11am I get home to change the little lad. The transition in-between nappies during the change is a crucial and dangerous period. Another game of Russian Roulette. Today, however, the chamber is full and I take the full blast. Luckily I was always good at catch. ahem!

12 noon London Zoo, ok perhaps not that bad, but it's at this time that TheO can be at his most, er, inventive! Today is Carrot and one of his favourite. As the car goes into the garage, Theo grabs his spoon, which for some reason has the elasticity and power of a Roman Trebuchet, thus re-decorating the white walls with slight swathes of orange. Nice

1 pm Why didn't I try this earlier. A gift from a wonderful Aunt of Theo's has really turned out trumps. Working on the same principle as the Trebuchet spoon, TheO can be engaged for many hours in his bouncer. Normally I put on some music for him to Jump to like House of Pain, Kriss Kross. Whatever. My shift is over, and I'm done for THIS Monday. Bob Geldof, eat your heart out!



Content for while, Kriss Kross will make ya...