I have managed to escape the confines of the Island for a week, the good lady has been left alone with the 'Terror Tot' and CoCo, the Yorkshire Terrier that 'wee's' a lot. When I say wee's a lot, what I really mean is that at each single, available flippin opportunity, the dog cocks his leg. Its like having a water pistol straining on a leash. Obviously the work involved in catering to the needs of a small boy and a constantly urinating canine are quite considerable. We desperately await the return of the outlaws, particularly as they may well have some tasty Vino from down under!

I do, of course, hear in detail of TheO's development and charming personality. I fully understand that 'picking everything up of the floor four times a day' is going to get un-funny at some point, but the better half doesn't want to cramp the creativity, which of course is important, ahem. I am just glad that he persists in his flamboyant and outgoing personality, despite the cleaners weekly bill.



Somewhat in your face.

TheO has entered the period of his terrible twos! Overnight he has become a 'Bi Terror Tot' We marked this milestone initially by dropping him at his school for the morning with a large birthday cake. This should keep his class happy! We picked him later to drop of the outlaws at the airport. TheO loves the wide open space of the departure lounge, the trolleys and waving at people just before they spend the next 12 hours cooped up in an economy seat worrying about DVT.

So with the babysitters gone, the good lady and I became very concerned!! Pushing thoughts of not having a night out for the next 39 days, we proceeded with TheO's birthday. He looked fantastically happy as he embarked on a 30 minute paper tearing frenzy! He loved all of his presents, but I think he enjoyed tearing the paper most of all.



TheO's Rat problem continued, apologies for the poor picture quality!

Having spent the last 10 days in England for the new year, Theo is going to really miss all his new friends, and particularly his UK Grandma who he calls Mum (copying his Dad!) The little lad managed to take in a lot of the London sights including the New Year Parade, and the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. It was here we had hoped to introduce the young man to some snow, but what with this global warming thing, we may have to just show him the freezer!



TheO & Gladice hunt down some snow

Despite having a doctors note as a good excuse for not maintaining TheO's entries recently, it seems no medical help can save the little lad from his current phobia. Christmas! As is normal for this time of year, it's not unusual to see Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman or even Santa himself parading around the shopping areas. Immediately on sight, the first born leaps for parental protection and appears as terrified as I was during the Exorsist! We're not sure how to deal with his fear but the good lady says she has some friends in a camp in North Korea who may be able to help. Still, this won't help me get those free toys.

As Christmas quickly approaches, TheO has come to the end of his first scholastic term. It all finished off with a small concert where all the children dressed as elves and sang English and Maltese carols. It was unfortunate that one child's mother had dressed and sent him to school him in a red & white Santa suit. The results were devastating. Despite knowing ALL the hand gestures to "Go tell it on the Mountain" it was obvious there were a few hills to climb first.



Looking slightly puzzeled, and not a fat man in a red suit in sight...!

Part of responsible parenting, I would guess, is deciphering what your 22 month terror is trying to tell you. I was quite concerned as the little chap ran around in circles, shouting some babble like a cat with a firework tied to it's tail. I have now found out that this is just a song from 'school' called 'I'm a Tomato' with TheO's interpretation of the accompanying movement routine. The benefits of a private education are obvious!

Time can now be calibrated by redundant items bought for TheO. Sleep suits that once dwarfed him, now make him look like an extra in a Wayne Sleep production. The good lady decided to get ruthless earlier this week and donate all unnecessary items to the local charity shop, but I protested that we may indeed find the missing 'bunny' sock. I am now looking at new and novel ways of storage.

Theo's recent advances include jumping into the swimming pool, playing Harmonica whilst standing on the coffee table and, of course, singing 'I'm a Tomato' in Greek (I think!) He has started to enjoy Sesame Street and particularly likes The Count (agh agh agh) and Bert & Ernie. Favourite film of the moment seems to be Bambi, although I have tried to explain the mush and sentimentality far exceeds the limits of human tolerance in this Disney classic. You know sometime I feel I'm just not getting through.



The little lad in possession of a loud Cardigan.

The good lady keeps talking about TheO being at school. He has a school uniform and a school bag for his wet-wipes & sandwiches. I think he quite likes attending but don't see much in the way of Algebra, Latin or even Geography. I am told this is because his vocabulary is not yet tri-lingual. Who are they trying to kid eh?! I initially thought it a bonus to take him to school in the mornings and meet all the other young mums, however the better half informed me that the loss of important equipment would leave TheO without brothers or sisters. I think she was talking about the climbing frame...

None of this has kept the little lad from growing more, speaking more, and developing into quite a handful. He really is a very determined young man, with a great sense of humour. His jokes are a little hard to swallow after he has head butted you the first time, but we think this is just a phase! Currently watching Rugrats. He is now in possession of a full set of teeth, we can't wait to see what he does with them!



First day at school

It is good in many ways that people have started to cover up. Over extended protuberances caused by large amounts of lager and little exercise, are now disguised by ill fitting sports attire. Ladies have hidden their tattoos of small fading devils and swallows with shell suits embellished by Elizabeth Duke gems!

TheO is also quite shocked. His loving parents have placed him in day care two days a week (and only for the mornings) He has established himself as the youngest boy in the class with the loudest voice. We thought this quite funny initially, however he now wakes at 6am and babbles loudly till 7.30am! He then gets out of his cot and wonders around, finding all those things left undone from the night before. This is an early bird on a mission of destruction! I am convinced that he isn't really naughty, just inventive and will eventually write a Galileo like thesis on why things bounce on tiled floors. Glass, China, PlayMobil - they all have their 'bounce' qualities.



like CHiPs but with a bit more plastic!!