Since the the return of the outlaws, I had very much hoped that things would return to normal. TheO was a very lucky lad and showered with gifts from the relatives down under. His favourite has to be the 'Bushman/ Stockman' hat. This and a recent interest in the film 'Toy Story' has created a living 'Woody' This has fuelled his equine interest so much that he rides Playmobile horses whilst shouting 'Ye Ha' loudly. He also insists on retiring at night with his hobby Camel (like a horse, but uniquely, a Camel) I am currently trying to teach him to hum the Dallas theme tune and invest in Oil, all this whilst I nurse a black eye.

The little lad is still growing at an alarming rate, out growing recent purchases. Diction is fantastic too, managing to string words into sentences. He now says 'go away' and I totally understand. A recent report arrived from his school telling us he is an excellent student, excelling in singing, and 'looking after his things' JR Ewing would proud!!



Get me some CoCo-Pops Miss Ellie....

Since the new year, Malta has taken on the Euro. Consequently all things have rather strange prices. Things in the one lire shop are now €2.33. The eat as much as you like deal for a fiver is now eat as much as you like for €11.64 which doesn't really sound right. You also get a mass of change back of course. Splitting a tenner has implications of sub-particles by the million, and dont forget to bring a wheel barrow for all the one cent coins that you'll never use.

Another laugh has been the Malta Carnival. I thought I had missed it this year, but the good lady ensured TheO got the full 'dose' and I was at least dragged in at for the last moments. The little lad had a fantastic time!! Jumping, jumping and more jumping. He couldn't get enough. With all his energy, he managed to attract the attention of some of the float dancers, who, I'm sure, also fancied a jump. ahem.

The young mans favourite outfit was an American Indian costume. I thought he would favour the pirate outfit, a daddy thing, but he obviously prefers being on the warpath, just like his mother!



TheO's attempt at 'giving it some'

I have managed to escape the confines of the Island for a week, the good lady has been left alone with the 'Terror Tot' and CoCo, the Yorkshire Terrier that 'wee's' a lot. When I say wee's a lot, what I really mean is that at each single, available flippin opportunity, the dog cocks his leg. Its like having a water pistol straining on a leash. Obviously the work involved in catering to the needs of a small boy and a constantly urinating canine are quite considerable. We desperately await the return of the outlaws, particularly as they may well have some tasty Vino from down under!

I do, of course, hear in detail of TheO's development and charming personality. I fully understand that 'picking everything up of the floor four times a day' is going to get un-funny at some point, but the better half doesn't want to cramp the creativity, which of course is important, ahem. I am just glad that he persists in his flamboyant and outgoing personality, despite the cleaners weekly bill.



Somewhat in your face.

TheO has entered the period of his terrible twos! Overnight he has become a 'Bi Terror Tot' We marked this milestone initially by dropping him at his school for the morning with a large birthday cake. This should keep his class happy! We picked him later to drop of the outlaws at the airport. TheO loves the wide open space of the departure lounge, the trolleys and waving at people just before they spend the next 12 hours cooped up in an economy seat worrying about DVT.

So with the babysitters gone, the good lady and I became very concerned!! Pushing thoughts of not having a night out for the next 39 days, we proceeded with TheO's birthday. He looked fantastically happy as he embarked on a 30 minute paper tearing frenzy! He loved all of his presents, but I think he enjoyed tearing the paper most of all.



TheO's Rat problem continued, apologies for the poor picture quality!

Having spent the last 10 days in England for the new year, Theo is going to really miss all his new friends, and particularly his UK Grandma who he calls Mum (copying his Dad!) The little lad managed to take in a lot of the London sights including the New Year Parade, and the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park. It was here we had hoped to introduce the young man to some snow, but what with this global warming thing, we may have to just show him the freezer!



TheO & Gladice hunt down some snow

Despite having a doctors note as a good excuse for not maintaining TheO's entries recently, it seems no medical help can save the little lad from his current phobia. Christmas! As is normal for this time of year, it's not unusual to see Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman or even Santa himself parading around the shopping areas. Immediately on sight, the first born leaps for parental protection and appears as terrified as I was during the Exorsist! We're not sure how to deal with his fear but the good lady says she has some friends in a camp in North Korea who may be able to help. Still, this won't help me get those free toys.

As Christmas quickly approaches, TheO has come to the end of his first scholastic term. It all finished off with a small concert where all the children dressed as elves and sang English and Maltese carols. It was unfortunate that one child's mother had dressed and sent him to school him in a red & white Santa suit. The results were devastating. Despite knowing ALL the hand gestures to "Go tell it on the Mountain" it was obvious there were a few hills to climb first.



Looking slightly puzzeled, and not a fat man in a red suit in sight...!

Part of responsible parenting, I would guess, is deciphering what your 22 month terror is trying to tell you. I was quite concerned as the little chap ran around in circles, shouting some babble like a cat with a firework tied to it's tail. I have now found out that this is just a song from 'school' called 'I'm a Tomato' with TheO's interpretation of the accompanying movement routine. The benefits of a private education are obvious!

Time can now be calibrated by redundant items bought for TheO. Sleep suits that once dwarfed him, now make him look like an extra in a Wayne Sleep production. The good lady decided to get ruthless earlier this week and donate all unnecessary items to the local charity shop, but I protested that we may indeed find the missing 'bunny' sock. I am now looking at new and novel ways of storage.

Theo's recent advances include jumping into the swimming pool, playing Harmonica whilst standing on the coffee table and, of course, singing 'I'm a Tomato' in Greek (I think!) He has started to enjoy Sesame Street and particularly likes The Count (agh agh agh) and Bert & Ernie. Favourite film of the moment seems to be Bambi, although I have tried to explain the mush and sentimentality far exceeds the limits of human tolerance in this Disney classic. You know sometime I feel I'm just not getting through.



The little lad in possession of a loud Cardigan.