It's 39 weeks and the good lady is fit to pop. With a rise in the temperature has come a dramatic rise in circumference. The as yet to be expelled seems to be very comfy, although there are strong signs that one long push is all that remains.

The constant complaints of Braxton Hicks 24/7 have left me confused. Is this it or is this not it. I have read up on how to deliver a child from 'in a shopping trolley' to 'in the back seat of a car' and hope that this will not be the way the 'numero duo' begins his time. Would protocol dictate that we have no other recourse but to name the child after some apect of the birthing event or surroundings? A lack of good timing at the local supermarket and we have little 'GS' or baby 'Cheese Counter' as a name.

The very idea of not even making it to a hospital and naming 'he once known as prawn boy' after a Korean automobile seems nightmarish. What would the Malta school bullies call little 'Accent' for short? All of a sudden the idea of 'Castor Oil' and other induction methods seems a good idea, just to be on the safe side. Multiple mothers with multiple children enjoy telling me that 'number two was SO much quicker. (u 2 lu!)

TheO totally oblivious to events other than to demand Chowder and a bowl of jelly!



TheO tries in vain to use the I'll huff and I'll puff inducing method!

I must have been confused. I thought for just a moment I was experiencing that moment in time when everything just gets a little too much. Having now pulled myself together after serious instruction from the good lady, I have had a moment to reflect on the past few weeks and feel many of my recent activities constitute a good reason for the lack of information on the developing family. I feel a little like Jack Nicholson in The Shinning! 'all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy' I think he typed. Musn't grumble I suppose.

Since previous entry I have tried to make a living, watched builders pull down much of the recent irrational purchase, comforted an expectant mother of 38 weeks who speaks little else than 'it's coming' with a look of complicated panic. I ask where is it coming and am told little else other than to prepare the Mastercard.

The little lad amuses himself by insisting the as yet unborn is called after a packet of Prawns and despite some friendly chat, will not budge. Perhaps a middle name.

As the lady of the house clucks and prepares the nest, my responsibility list gets longer! Birth quite possible within the next 23 minutes or so (i'm made to feel), not sure if I have enough time or brain cells to finish that rather nice Chianti and be ready for possible drive to opposite end of Island, but might as well throw caution to the wind. eh!



The young man shortly before falling into the pool.

Having spent a couple of weeks trying to work and getting nothing but hangovers, I returned to the dusty rock from Gatwick to find quite a different situation. The good lady was now (nearly) the size of a Boeing 747 and the youngster seemed to have grown considerably. Not just in size but with speech and understanding. He failed however to understand that Argos had sold out of Wildmutt. Presenting me with the good argument that there is the internet!

It's getting to that nerve-racking period when anything could happen. It still has not been settled where 'Whitby' is to emerge. I'm told that as a cost effective exercise, we will get in the car, drive to the ferry and have the birthing experience in the comfy confines of the Gozo General Hospital. It's only a short distance away. Apparently so is air sea rescue but 'Thunderbirds Are Go' if there on another call! This evening we go to look at another alternative, the C-Section capital of the world, Mater Dei Hospital! It has been suggested that if we go here, there is a possibility of being automatically induced, I wondered to whom!? Actually, I think we're going to have to go private!

TheO is oblivious to it all. If anything, he has become more demanding, perhaps having an slight insight that he may lose a bit of the attention. Anyway, week 33 and the unborn at 2.5 kilo's seems to be having a right old time with visible kicks and general movement form within. TheO very much into the reinvention Ben 10 Alien Force and his recently acquired figures! He currently watches Aliens Vs Monsters and Hotel for Dogs, although obviously I don't have any copies of these!



A happy boy!... who has no idea about the realities of a little brother!

I'm told that having two boys to contend with, is a lot easier than having one. I'm quite sure that I will return to this statement to discuss either from a hospital bed or a secure psychiatric ward awaiting a much deserved lobotomy. Nevertheless, I seem to have entered, and remain in, an energy draining singularity that even Arthur C. Clarke would find mysterious. It would seem that TheO has now reached the age where he appreciates who is in control, and it's sure not his parents. Bedtime has turned into Trampoline time. The only thing he now agrees to wear without a Kung-Fu fight is his Ben 10 costume. It's at this point he'll 'go Four Arms' yes, it gets messy!

In the few remaining moments that are not spent removing 'Bakugan' from my various canals, the good lady and I talk of the new arrival. He (the one temporarily know as Whitby) is now 29 weeks, growing fast and really making his presence known. I know this because I'm back picking everything up off the floor, carrying everything and like his older brother, he has a mean snap kick.

The little lad is currently enjoying Gromiti toys, Watching Quest, Storm Hawks and Johnny Test (in fact anything on Cartoon Network) and eating Omelettes for breakfast. He is looking forward very much to meeting his brother!



My, the concentration...

Having been back only a few weeks, life has returned to normal for the young man. Gone is the excitement of cousins, sand in the eyes and snowballs, Things have indeed calmed down. Not for the rest of us however! We are now nearly six months down the line with the good ladies bump. TheO has named this unborn bump Whitby for some reason! I can only assume a fishfingers packet is to blame. None the less, with Whitby's imminent arrival, the lady of the household has started getting a bit clucky! Changes are afoot! I have been instructed to create more room in the existing space and prepare the recent purchase in the next eight weeks! Of course it has to be complete with Italian designer kitchen and inside toilet!

Number two has signalled the advent of yet more responsibility! Is that possible? If anything, I have discovered that after having number one, the wine bill from Lidel went through the roof along with my ability to make the right palatable decision! Flicking through previous entries has done little to prepare for what lies ahead. The Sicilian Syrah is none too bad though, and it's on offer, might as well get a case eh!!



TheO cops a snowball! on Guildford grounds...

Apparently I have only a few days to shape up or ship out. The young man is unhappy that I have not posted his tales from an airport lounge or beach like a true modern 'blogger' would. Explanation from my side is futile!

Needless to say, we all made it to England where we we were finally coerced to take 'the' trip with an offer we couldn't refuse. London to Hong Kong (7 hour visit between flights) and onto Perth, with the young man dressed as Superman for most of it!

TheO managed to have a totally fantastic time! Meeting his cousins, uncles & aunts for the first time and even catching up with some old friends from 'The Rock' Turning 3 with a party in Kings Park gave the little man a day to remember and his daddy an excess luggage bill! (nearly)

The youngster adopted his new temporary country with relish, shouting at everyone 'Good Day Mate' whilst pointing to every Aussie flag he saw and shouting 'Stralia!
With Australia Day approaching, this became quite a frequent shout.


Hat upgrade to XXS

Four weeks of house sitting later, we took a trip to 'Rotto' and booked into the Rottnest Lodge Hotel. The Quokkas which make the island famous quickly became the little lads new friends, pointing them out whenever he spotted them. Like the Aussie flag, this also became very frequent!



Us 4 at Rottnest Island, with one in hiding...

With medical facilities all over the place, the good lady decided it would be a good opportunity to have a 5 month scan. This was to be the decider! Would there be a flurry of shopping activity for small pink dresses, Barbie's and a wedding fund? We wanted to know!



A little boy at 22 weeks!