The seven month stage is quickly crawling up on us, a trick that TheO has started to develop too. Not only has he mastered the acts of 'pushing up', 'rolling over' and 'sitting up' but has now taken to moving himself around the flat, unaided and to our surprise. I am just waiting to open a high cupboard and suffer a cardiac arrest as the little lad pops his head out, grinning. The good lady has instructed me to run along to the stationary shop and purchase 300 meters of bubble wrap and a pair of scissors with rounded ends that are, infact, impossible to cut anything with.

My normal rant concerning Maltese culture took a swing this week. Outside a Chinese Restaurant was a large blackboard sign saying “Open for Lunch” It was 1.pm, on a Thursday, lunchtime in my world, yet there was a sign on the door saying closed. The place was deserted. Confucius says 'Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue' How true.



A not very busy lunchtime restaurant

Last Sunday I took some pictures of the rapidly changing 'baby' to prove that I did infact, once have one. With my rich photographic past, I again pulled out the sheepskin rug and played 'Russian Roulette' with the nappy. It could have got very messy. The boy performed and the rug is now with the dry cleaners, ahem!



TheO at just a snip off seven months, but with rounded scissors...

It may just be me, but I think that this heat makes Maltese market traders go deaf. I took the good lady and the boy to the world famous Marsaxlokk Fish Market, where I eyed a mean green metal Bar-B-Q. Great, I thought anticipating a summer full of beach Bar-B-Q's loud music and ice cold beer's. 'Does it come in a box?' I stupidly ask, 'wha' was the immediate reply from the bloke with a roll up and a face like rollmop, 'Does it come in a box?' I said again... anyway, it went a bit like this:

Me; 'Does it come in a box?'
Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'The Bar-B-Q, does it come in a box?'
Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'Does it come in a box?'
Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'The Bar-B-Q, does it come in a box?'
Other Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'this thing, does it come in a box?'
Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'Does it come in a box?'
Other Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'DOES IT COME IN A BOX?'
Other Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'Does the friggin Bar-B-Q come in a box?'
Market Trader: 'wha?',
Me; 'AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGG'
Other Market Trader: 'wha?',

(Continue for two hours...)

I am still using disposable Bar-B-Q's from the petrol station.

This month saw yet another birthday pass, mine. The wife decided to take TheO & I to the Malta 'Splash n Fun Park' to enjoy the fine weather. We spent several hours looking for parking and then just over a tenner to get in for a mad scramble to find an umbrella and sun-beds. What fun. I really needed that splash now. The afternoon laugh kicked off when a plastic bag containing TheO's dinner went missing. It contained his bottle, bib, spoon and liquidized carrot. I complained to the management and it was left to Mister Clean, the cleaning contractors to find. Mister Clean spent many hours in the heat searching the large rubbish skip for an over zealous workers error, until, in my bag, I spotted... best walk away from these difficult situations eh!



TheO looking for his dinner, nothing to chew on here...

TheO has a cold. It's the middle of summer and he develops the typically British symptoms of a sore throat, sneezing, and a cough. The big plans for his 6 month photograph have been dashed on a sea of mucus with a strong south westerly spray. The root of his influenza lies with his mother, of course.

Despite this all this, the little chap remains in high spirits, perhaps it's the Benlyin! No matter, we have just started to venture out of the house again where we are set upon by purveyors of time share contracts. 'hello' they say, 'are you English?' No matter what you say, it will not dampen their persistence. I have taken to drinking large quantities of TheO's Benolin and sounding Greek, it seems to work, and I breathe so much easier.

TheO seems to be expanding in all directions. His weight is up, his height is up and he now he sits up (see below!) The good lady has taken to turning the flat into a nursery, I am now injuring myself on baby toys, a whole new world of 'maimings' await me!!



Not sneezing so much, but still sniffing.

TheO sits, but not in his car seat and not on the balcony... but at six months!!

'It seems to be getting hotter, even hotter than it was yesterday!' I am starting to say this to myself on a daily basis now. The air conditioning in the car has still to be fixed and i've lost my sense of humour. Franco, the AC man who is attempting to fix it, just shrugs his shoulders at me, I turn away as a full face 'ha' has now started to get me down.

Last weekend we had a 'family' holiday to Sicily where you can buy Heinz Ketchup without a problem. The good lady and I had been married 5 years on the 9th June and TheO shared the same same day with his 5th month birthday, strange coincidence! We did some driving around and TheO managed to visit all the major sights without any 'Etna' like explosions, except at the expected hours of course. We also experienced the rain here, it's torrential and unrelenting. It does not however create any caution when driving a car.



So safe and sound back in Malta where everyone is an England fan. The World Cup kicked off, and with each England game, there was a serious case of ' Carcading' This involves the intelligentsia of Malta driving worse than normal through busy small streets with horns on and the Union Jack blowing (I thought England was playing?) TheO just takes it all in his stride. During the Sweeden game, a Maltese/ England fan evacuated his air horn, unlike his daddy, TheO just smiled. How patient.



A patient TheO at 5 months, exploding only after mealtimes..



A local fan, in a Lorry, driving through busy streets with his horn blowing. Safe!

After a whirlwind tour of 'back home' we have returned to a Malta heatwave. temperatures in the 30's and the air conditioning in the car bust. The good lady has taken to wrapping the youngster in damp towels to keep his temperature stable, perhaps this is an early indication that he's going to be a pilot, or something.

It was thought that this whirlwind would be a disaster of screaming baby, no sleep, panic attacks when nearing Boots and colds all-round. But it was not to be. TheO had a fantastic time meeting people, laughing and looking at girls, and by this I mean he met a lot of his mummies pals!

We were only gone a few weeks yet TheO seems to have grown so much. He is now really smiley and laughs out loud a lot. Every day he seems to be different, just a little bit. We have taken to giving him a bottle at bedtime, this has ensured he sleeps really well, but, wow, what do they put in that stuff!!



TheO the Towel Head, back in temperatures of 30 degrees C