Happy New Year. 2006, what a year this is going to be! What a day I've had today. Jeez. AM saw me in the heart of Valletta sorting out Car Insurance. One can't really expect the seamless nature of similar business transactions in the UK, but this? It was classic. Can I get a cover note, no, not done in Malta. I have to go into the office, sit in front of some work experience trainee for two hours asking me stupid questions and replying to mine with stupid answers. 'So am I covered?' I foolishly ask…

Next call is The British High Commission in Ta Xbiex. It's not open for an hour so we go and have a coffee. Are you eating lunch? We are asked, just a snack or dessert we reply, OK we are told. Waitress comes to take our order, what no lunch, sorry, you have to have lunch, blah blah blah. We are told to leave as the table is booked for lunch, ha.

The good news. We get into the High Commission and told that the Baby will be British and have a British passport of it's own, a Maltese one if required. Lunch however may be more of a problem.

New year went well. Intoxicated by 11. Elvis seemed to be a prominent feature of my evening, strangely. He sang in New Year and then invited the entire entourage of the good ladies family to a VIP 'do' he was involved in. Excellent! I thought Elvis had died ages ago! I quickly discovered this 'do' was an open bar, dinner and dance without the dinner. This was when things went fuzzy. Elvis and myself left the building. One of us in a Limousine, the other escorted by my father in law as a taxi driver. I leave it to you to guess the arrangements!



Elvis sings in the New Year 2006, he's my last recollection of '05 & yes, he is 'that' Uncle!!

Well it looks like another year is soon to be out the way. What happened?!
I have just looked around and find myself not in Cricklewood, unable to visit the Crown and my bank balance drained, squandered on things like maternity pads and pure olive oil (still not sure what this is going to be used for, the wife says it's a surprise!) It all seems to have gone so quick. 'if you don't look around once in a while, you could miss it!' Tsk, how true. I have tried this 'looking around' but still get sand in my eyes so I'll try a different approach next year, one of my new year resolution's, eh.

The wife still complaining of fatigue, baby pressure inside, sweeping movements from within and nothing to wear. I requested a Karrimore catalogue but am unsure as to whether they will have her colour. She is real soldier though and has taken the slight inconvenience of this whole pregnancy situation very well! Top bird!

Talking of birds, Christmas went well. Good to spend time doing not very much for a change, despite doing the vegetables for nine and prepping a turkey (the top bird, em..) a la Gordon Ramsey worked well despite the lacerations to my hands. Thank God for band-aids and blood transfusions. Most exciting present was a wind up torch with 3 LED lights, cool, and a dog that flashes at me. Flashing dogs are normal for Malta, but this one flashes in Colour and to the sound coming out of my speakers. OK just click here for more on idog I also loved the Books, Jumpers and socks and everything else I was so fortunate to get!

Some of the Wife's relatives arrived the other day from Australia, she will now be wanting to run around with them as she rarely see's them. This leaves time for idle hands. Happy blogging.



Mother and unborn taken on the 24th. Relaxed with fantastic warm weather

Too late to say too much. Feeling large, as though there is a part of me that has expanded beyond all reason or the realms of science. Isabel similar & well, complaining of normal Christmas and pregnancy related issues. Excellent day.Here's two for the album.



Isabel, Me & Coco the Santa dog, please don't ask me, I know!



Isabel with the Outlaws, (her Ma & Pa)

Golly! It's week 37 and all is well. I got back from London and slept for two days. This was of course nothing to do with other, outside influences as detailed below. More the effort of getting up early enough to get a flight from Gatwick. A real palaver, see below.

The good woman is in fine fettle. However, there are a few complaints of 'Carpal Tunnel Syndrome' This is something to do with dropping things and not wearing your wedding ring. There was a time where not wearing my wedding ring presented itself as an adventure. However it can cause a sudden, blinding flash of pain, rather similar I imagine to this Carpal thing or even a punch to the Solar Plexus. Best avoided. Anyway, this syndrome and the slight problem that she can't bend over, has got me on the my knees 24/7. On the bright-side, I can keep any coins I find whilst I'm down there.

As things are getting to a stage where we can't really go out, Mr Collins has supplied me with a constant stream of DVD's from the 'market' These go down very well until one realises that Piracy is SO wrong. None of them play on the Macintosh. I have strongly put my case to the pirates and they said they will try to do better. Arrrrr.

The young one his doing his best 'Alien' impression, moving beneth the surface and causing 'tummy ripples' It seems to be getting a bit tight on space inside there. The mother in-law keeps making the case for an early delivery. Like, thats all I need, I havn't even wrapped my presents yet!!




A 36 week scan, obviously!

I flew into London on Friday night for a quick visit. I knew this was going to be a good trip when I arrived to find that there were no trains, no buses and walking to Guildford was not really an option. Fortunately there is always someone, in some small office, somewhere in Corydon, waiting for a chance call from some Muppet who can't get a lift. I was that Muppet, Hugo was that chancer! I found his artic snowstorm/ blizzard dandruff off-putting, but, credit to Hugo, he got me to Guildford for 40 quid at twelve o'clock at night.

The weekend was spent getting over the first opportunity to greet excess. I was like a dog of a leash. I took full advantage of my position to visit some great chums on Saturday night. Fantastic food. Really! I would be hard pressed to do better, fantastic wine, and many a laugh. Thanks you two!

All I have with me is this picture of the wife to remind me of my imminent fate. I have not had a laugh with 'Photoshop' and there are no 'special effects'. I post this image knowing that when I return in a day or two, the blog of life is going to going to need a new chapter. I have therefore decided to stay in town and meet up with a few more chums. squeek squeek


The good lady @ 35 weeks, very sorry to see me go...

Its Saturday. More to the point, it's past six o'clock and I'm sober. Last night we 'stayed in' This was quite strange for me to 'stay in' on a Friday night and one that merit's an entry. Time slid slowly by, 8, 9, 10 and I started to twitch. I thought that we would go out at twelve but I was instructed to put my spandex pants back in the wardrobe and forget going anywhere. 'It just isn't going to happen', I'm told! Well that was last night. Surely this staying in thing can't happen twice in a row!! I've mentioned going out for dinner and I'll pay. This was taken up quite sharpish. It has yet to be realised that I have a booking for two at 'Southern Fried Chicken' which is coincidently next to a establishment that plays loud music and dispenses a famous Belgian lager. And they said my life would change beyond all recognition, ha.

The good lady is now quite large(r). I really feel for her as she lugs an extra 9KG, and counting, around with her. I'm not quite sure she knows which lump to shake at the chicken shop I fear. We will be entering week 34 on Monday. Does the 34 indicate the dress size I wonder?



A Brewery In Belgium, apparently!