Most children can be temporarily pacified when given a toy of some description. A squeaky Rhino can provide hours of distraction. Some toys may even lead to obsessions and may never be prised from those tight little hands, not even for Jelly Tots. The little lad however is quite unique. Small toys that are supposed to create 'toddler relief' are flung in the most impossible of places. Currently, there is a small rubber 'Triceratops' lodged on the outer Bastions of the Citadel in Victoria, Gozo. A 'Sponge Bob Square Pants' ball is over the wall at Mdina, and there is a yellow 'Noddy' car at the bottom of the lift shaft of our residence. The problem is that as a frustrated 'Superhero Daddy' I am unable to approach these misplaced tests of fearless retrieval. The Bastions at Victoria and Mdina were built to keep the invading Turks out. Attempts to scale the walls will result in certain failure and, no doubt, a touch of boiling oil to boot. The lift shaft, with the scenario of a good crushing clear in my mind, represents a far more possible opportunity...

The wild child is talking much more and developing his sense of humour. He is a gold medal winner at his recent school sport Fun Day, (I think they may have all been given one) and able to tell the difference between yellow, orange and blue! (mmm) He has also started to say his name and age when asked and can name people in photographs. I'm reading 'Beers of the World' to him but don't think he really appreciates the gravitas!




An excitable lad in the Park

A visit from 'Mum' has put the little lad into major hyper mode. The confused Grandmother brought her sister and sister's husband just to make up the numbers. The book called 'The Complete Guide To Uninvited Advice on Raising Children' has been dusted down, again, and re-read, again! Despite the recommendations for a two month stay in a work camp, and maybe some old school beatings, 'Mum' seems very fond of the young man.

The little lad is displaying signs of a dental vocation by examining the inside of the mouths closest to him. Pulling the jaws apart, the good ladies gold crown has been referred to as 'a nice job' and Daddies been told he should floss more. Grandpa would indeed be proud!!

Despite all the mayhem, the weather is now glorious, the boat is seaworthy, and the young man is conversing very well. He sound less like a tramp on Meth's and more like a Oxford Graduate, well, nearly… eh!



A painted Tiger face, but where are the Jetski keys….

With a fine idea in mind, I have managed to make a quick trip to the UK. Picking up a million and one thing's including a new wardrobe for the young man (clothing, not a box with doors.) This slight separation has caused the little lad to change his demands of “go away Daddy” to “I want Daddy” Shame, he really should have thought about that before throwing a heavy plastic Hippopotamus at my head. Having a quick stroll down the hometown High Street, I noticed many other small children of a similar age, and quickly forgave the offspring, even missing his accurate shot! Back to the island within the next 24hrs so will stock up on plasters at the airport. Perhaps bandages too…



TheO & the good lady in a long dark tunnel, with a bright light at the end…

With the rise in temperature, the little lad has activated his repetition module. He is now able to comply when asked to 'repeat after me' This is a fantastic development with new words abounding. The only downside to this is a developing Maltese accent. Father becomes 'Fardeeerr' and even his name has changed to 'TaO' A Maltese accent can best be described as follows:

1. Anything shouted loudly.
2. Eh! placed at the beginning/ middle/ end of every sentence.
3. The word 'Madonna' used throughout every sentence.
4. Sounding like you're Welsh.

If this were to be put in to some context, the young man might one morning ask (shouting loudly) 'Eh, Muddeeer, Cherio's Madonna, Eh!' This may be finished with 'Boyo' to finalise the flavour. I digress.

The young man is still fixated with his hat from Australia. It's the first thing he asks for in the morning and he won't go to sleep without it. He looks forward to horse riding on Saturday mornings and the beach in the afternoon. Currently watching Shrek 1 & 2 and The Lion King.



TheO shows me his finger, right, no sweets for a month!!

The past couple of weeks have been tricky. TheO has been off school on holiday, whilst the good lady has been up to her neck in paper work for her final thesis. Trying times. Thanks to patience and the outlaws, I managed to get a few beers in, but it was very close.

Normality has returned and education has again gripped the little lad for the Summer term. The hallowed halls of academia this week, had him visiting a farm. The build up to this visit consisted of demands for a horse, chicken sounds and bits of Old MacDonald sung really badly. He was, apparently, the only child to embrace the Donkey ride with gusto, refusing to hand back his riding hat at the end of his turn, possibly convinced he could get a few euros for it.

The temperature has started to pick up again after a few weeks of dull weather. With some time now available, the good lady has made beach plans for TheO and work plans for me. The young man currently besotted with Horses, Dinosaurs, Lions and Zebras. Current viewing includes Madagascar and vintage Sesame Street, Cookie Monster provoking a fit of hysterics every time.



The little lad tries to smuggle out a monochromatic friend!

Another Easter is upon us. This is a sombre time of year and, as detailed in
previous entries, one that would more than likely, traumatise TheO
indefinitely if he were to see the lengths committed individuals will go to,
to attain an answered prayer.

Rather than attend these events, we have taken the little lad deep into the
country side to witness the advent of Spring. It's a beautiful sight to
witness a croaking frog, the lush flora, the small streams of H20, and the
discarded bricks and broken tiles from a recent conversion. I just do not
understand fly-tipping in beauty spots.



The young man out for a stroll, kind of...

The little lad is indifferent to the local laws when it comes to dumping,
although at his age, it's a common problem. He made do with collecting some
small, brightly coloured wild flowers on Malta's endangered list, and
prodding a local Frog, rough questioning about the discarded rubble perhaps.

Bank Holiday Monday saw a local pageant with free un-supervised bounces on
the bouncy castle and a fairground ride from the (early) 50's The little lad
of course was one of the best customers!



All the fun of the fairground accident!

TheO's current obsessions are Toy Story 1&2, Bobbits (Rabbits), Dinosaurs and some sort of ninja movements, really not sure where this comes from. Prize for trhe most original answer!